In the journey of life, you will encounter challenges with the people you interact with, whether it is in your family, professional life or your leisure time. Depending on your experiences, character and upbringing, you may have developed certain habits or behavior traits, for example being shy or withdrawn, that may not serve you well. While change is a process and does not necessarily happen overnight, please try to commit to making at least one change on the list below if it applies to you.
1. Stop — Being a People Pleaser
While making others happy is a noble thing to aspire to, being a people pleaser is a sign that you may have issues with your own self-worth. This trait may have developed due to a need to be accepted, quite possibly by people who were not worth your time in the first place. It is also possible that you may have been abused and you decided that the best way to stop or limit the abuse was to do whatever it was that your abuser wished. You should aspire to your own happiness first. If someone asks you to do something that you think is out of line or unreasonable, then you should say “No” or ” no way” … whichever best fits the scenario. The exemption is, of course, tasks you must complete at your job. Please be careful when and with whom you use a term like “Hells no” … unless you are about to resign for a better job.
2. Stop — Being Afraid of Change
This world is ever-changing and you have to change with it. Organisms that are not able to adapt to change may be doomed to extinction. This applies to humans on a singular level as well. It is normal to be reluctant and hesitant to changes in your life. But to truly enjoy life and live to your fullest, you have to bend or you will break. If you think that you are in an abusive relationship, please do not be afraid to make changes to better your situation.
3. Stop — Answering “Yes”
Again, this does not apply to your tasks at work where you should be saying “Yes. I can get that done”. It applies to people who are trying to use you or make a habit of putting you down. Only say “Yes” to things that you like doing or things that will help you to grow and develop as a person.
4. Stop — Not Accepting Compliments
Being modest has its charm and its place, but there are certain compliments that you should embrace and own. You know how much work you put into a project or how difficult a task was. So take the compliments when they are given. You deserve it and more. So stop denying your worth and enjoy it, without acting cocky about it.
5. Stop — Letting Others Take All the Praise
Standing back and allowing others to get the acclaim for your hard work may be a sign of self-worth issues and may cost you that promotion. It is right to share the spotlight with others who have contributed to the success of a venture, but you should always ensure that you get the credit for the hard work you have done. Stand up for yourself and be counted so you won’t have any regrets.
6. Stop — Begging For the Old-Time Days to Return
The past cannot be altered and is unlikely to ever return so you must move on with your life, looking for the opportunities that exist now. You can always reminisce about the past and fond memories. However, you should always be looking to create more and even better ones. This is especially important in a marriage where your husband has changed for the worst and has become abusive. Wishing for him to be who he used to be or to behave as he did in the past will not help you in your current position. Forget the past and move on with your life with a firm resolution on making a better future for yourself.
7. Stop — Giving Up Easily
It is said that “Nothing worth having comes easy”. This should be your mantra when you have a difficult task to do or decision to make such as deciding to leave an abusive marriage. Make a commitment to improve your life and do not give up, whatever comes your way. Put setbacks and negative people aside and reach for your goals. You will only fail if you give up too easily so don’t ever do that.
You may have your highs and lows in life. If you are willing to stopping doing at least one of the things discussed, then you may live a happier more fulfilling life with the ones deserving of your love. Sometimes doing these things may lead you to find yourself in an abusive marriage because these types of traits may attract persons who feel that they can take advantage of you. For more information, you can get a copy of my Amazon bestseller book, “Time to Go“, which is full of more detailed tips on how to leave an abusive marriage.