Welcome to the second and final part of this series. If you missed the first article, don’t worry because this is not in any particular order. You can always view it after reading this one. Let’s take a look at some other lessons that you can learn from being a survivor of abuse. This may help you with making the decision to wanting a better life for yourself.
Staying in Abuse for Financial Benefits Never Results in Your Happiness
Money and possessions are not worth the emotional or physical abuse because you may develop bad coping mechanisms. You may become withdrawn, afraid to express yourself and establish bad spending habits. This may encourage your husband to abuse you. The days of men looking down on women because they are taking care of the household and not earning an income are over. Your value is unquestionable and accepting abuse for monetary reasons may erode your confidence and spirit. In essence, you give up your freedom and become a slave to your husband who will treat you in any manner that he wishes. You should consider getting out of this situation by spreading your wings and seeking your financial freedom. You can accomplish anything that you put your will and effort into.
It’s Never Wise to Stay With a Well Known Relative or Friend When You Leave a Violent Abuser
This will be the first place that your abuser will come looking for you. This may result in others getting hurt as well. Your husband is not likely thinking rationally or considering that he will not want to cause a scene. You are in a dangerous position with someone who may be mentally unstable. This is not the loving husband you may have known. There is a high chance that your husband will show up at your family’s or friend’s residence. Ensure that you are not there. This will reduce the chances of a violent encounter. When you leave, please go to a shelter or a trusted acquaintance that cannot easily be traced.
People Who Encourage You to Stay in Domestic Abuse are Often Victims or Abusers Themselves
Generally speaking, people will give their opinion based on their own personal experience. This may be the case if someone encourages you to stay in an abusive relationship. You should consider distancing yourself from these people. They may have their own demons to wrestle with so they may not be able to properly advise you. Someone wise and knowledgeable about the potential consequences of abuse will embolden you to find a way out. You should not stay in a situation that may be mentally or physically detrimental to you.
Do Not Return to an Unreformed Abuser
The more you forgive and return to an unreformed abuser is the more severe the abuse may get. An abuser who feels embarrassed or shunned by your behaviour may look for ways to get back at you. If you return to him then you may be saying, “It’s okay to punish me for telling others the truth of how you treat me”. Do not fool yourself. This is the same person. He does not believe that there is anything wrong with how he treats you. If he has not taken any steps to change, then he may continue to hurt you. It is good to forgive, but move on with a life without him after you have done.
You Don’t Need to Have a Large Sum of Money to Leave an Abuser
If you make a plan that covers everything that you will need, then you should be okay. You should get trustworthy support as you try to get back on your feet away from your abuser. Do not make hasty decisions that may put you at risk of another abuser. Be very careful with whom you accept help from. You do not want to be put in a similar position as the one you left.
Unless You Are Physically Imprisoned Then You have the Power to Leave
If you are not physically bound or imprisoned by your abuser, you always have the power to leave your relationship. You just have to say “Enough, I will no longer be a victim” and make up your mind that you want to be free from abuse. You can be happy if you get the support to put your plan in place and the commitment to follow through with it. Only you can decide if you want to have a better life. Do not give others this power over you.
Please note that you can find more detailed information about abuse and how to leave for a better life in my Amazon bestseller book, “Time to Go“. Thank you for reading and please feel free to comment your thoughts and experiences as we continue to empower women to their own independence and happiness.