Getting out of an abusive relationship requires a plan of action, commitment and money to ensure you don’t have to return to your abuser. Money is, of course, the major hurdle here. With this in mind, here are 5 suggestions of ways to get out of an abusive relationship when you have no money.
Disclaimer: I am not a financial advisor so please seek outside advice from an expert before choosing any of the options suggested, especially numbers 3 and 4.
1. Ask Family Members and Close Friends
The people closest to you are the people more invested in your life and well-being. These are the people who are likely to be more empathetic to your plight and will assist if they can afford to. You may even have done kind acts of a similar nature for them in the past and they would like to reciprocate the favour to you. Do not ask for charity. Instead, ask for a loan, which you must be committed to repay and have a reasonable timeline. Do not seek to overextend yourself. Try for a six month or more repayment period. If accepted, this should be seen as an unbreakable contract. You must make every effort to repay this loan. If the person you approach insists on giving you money instead of lending it to you, then express your sincere appreciation. When you are back on your feet, show even more gratitude with a thank you card and a small gift. On the other hand, be aware that the person(s) you ask may not be in a position to assist you. You should not be angry or disheartened. Remember that these are the people you want to continue having a good relationship with. Continue to be congenial and understanding. There is a chance that they will explore an alternative way to assist you that you may not have thought of or known.
2. Contact Shelters or Go On A Victim Program
You may be able to get funding from a local organization that helps victims of abuse. Shelters or organizations may offer housing, food, clothing, money and counseling to aid your escape. You must explore what resources may be available to you. Do not be ashamed to speak about your abuse. This could be a life and debt situation, even if you have not experienced physical abuse in the past. You can use the Internet to find relevant information. However, do so on a medium that your husband does not have access to, for example at a library. There may even be a hotline that you can call that will guide you to a shelter or organization in your area. Sadly domestic abuse is a common problem, however, many countries have committed to confronting, by making resources available to those who need it. Please note that there will be a process that you will have to follow and forms you will have to fill out. Do not let this deter you.
3. Get a Pay Advance
If you are employed, you may consider asking your boss for an early pay cheque or advance on your salary. This may not be a large sum, but it may be enough to cover your immediate expenses. If you explain your reasons for requesting this advance, then your boss may make the necessary arrangements to aid you. If you are able to get an advance on your salary, please negotiate realistic repayment terms.
4. Get a Credit Card
Although not the best option due to the high-interest rate, a credit card is a viable means for your immediate financial needs. If you shop around, you may be able to find a card that offers zero interest over a certain time frame, for example, six months. This will enable you to pay back the amount used without accruing the interest penalty. Do not use any credit card that you currently possess because your husband may have access to it. He may be able to cancel the card or use it to track you. It is best to get a brand new unknown credit card.
5. Sell Valuable Items
This may be the hardest thing for you to do, but material possessions are not worth your life. You will have to be discreet and selective in your choice of what to part with. You do not want to alert your husband to what you are doing. If you have a precious gift from a loved one, which you find it hard to part with, consider that the person who gave it to you would want you to be happy. The person would certainly encourage you to choose your life over any heirloom that you may have. If the item is very precious to you, consider options that may allow you to buy it back when you are able to, such as a pawnshop.
The options discussed here as well as more can be found in the book “Time To Go”. Please be careful as you embark on this journey and arm yourself with the necessary knowledge to be successful. I want to also encourage you to share this information with the people in your life. You do not always know who is in need of it.