Narcissism is a word that has become widely misused. So let us start by defining what it is. Narcissism is a personality disorder and can vary in its severity. People who have this disorder may not be able to overcome it on their own and may need professional help. The term originates from Greek mythology, where the young Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water. People with this condition have an extreme sense of self-importance, need excessive attention and lack empathy for others. These are not good attributes to have in a relationship and especially a marriage. While it requires a professional to officially diagnose this condition, here are 5 signs your husband may be a narcissist. If you have any concerns be on the lookout for these and others.
He Sees Himself As “Special”
Every life has value and is special. But does your husband seek to have everyone believe that he is special? This may be easier seen if he portrays himself this way with little to back up the claim or he lies about his achievements. A narcissist will portray everything about their life as unique but only as it regards to them. For example, your husband may say that you as his wife is special, but only because he is special. You will come to know that he does not really view you in this way but only puts on a show. He may use the excuse that only someone like him can truly understand him or his genius. This may be a way to seek superiority without providing any validation that he actually is.
He Has A History Of Grandiose Behaviour
Does your husband have a history that predates your relationship, with extravagant behaviour and arrogance? Does he insist on having the best of everything regardless of his family’s financial status? You may have to question his family and old friends to determine this but do so in a friendly manner. You could ask them about any enterprises in his teen years or what he did with his first paycheck? Does he have a history of taking advantage of or exploiting others to get what he wants? In this way, you may be able to see a pattern of actions that are red flags that they haven’t seen.
He Doesn’t Really Care About Others
Does your husband seem not to care about you or your feelings? People who are narcissistic may lack empathy or the ability to share and understand the feelings of others. This is not a deliberate act but is usually due to their self-consciousness and self-doubt. They are so concerned with their appearance and how to make others think more of them that they cannot empathize with others. They turn every situation into a reflection on them and not think about anyone else involved. Does your husband only show interest in you or your children if there is something that can make him look good? If this is the case, then he may be narcissistic.
He Is Overly Jealous And Competitive
Is your husband jealous of people who are successful or have major accomplishments? This may be because he is faced with a problem his mental state cannot accept. That is someone being better than he is. If he is obsessively competitive even with you or your children, then that may be his way of creating accomplishments. He may then brag about his many accomplishments to distinguish himself as being unique, superior and or special. He may not be aware that others see this as trivial and may become defensive if anyone disagrees.
He Has A Sense Of Entitlement
Does your husband feel that he deserves special treatment or consideration when there is no proof that he should get it? This may be shown if he expects to be singled out in a crowd or excluded from waiting with others. For example, if you go to a restaurant and there is a waiting period, but he makes a scene to gain attention. A narcissistic complex requires constant recognition and admiration, which can be embarrassing to those around. It is especially hard if you disagree or try to rein him in because he may turn on you. His sense of entitlement may lead him to take advantage of you verbally and physically if he is denied.
If you recognize any of the above-mentioned signs please feel free to reach out to me for support and advice or get your copy of my Amazon bestseller ‘Time to Go’, which is packed with sound and practical advice and guidance about abusive relationships, including what you can do if he may be a narcissist Remember, you will need to seek professional help to know this for sure. It may be difficult to convince him to seek treatment because he may not accept that he has a problem. Please seek the necessary information you need to get help, you deserve to be happy and abuse free.