The word manipulation certainly does not have good implications. When one manipulates someone, the first things that come to mind are handling selfishly and cunningly, so as to gain something in return. Therefore, when manipulation happens in a marriage, it absolutely does not bode well. Marriage should be built on mutual love, respect, understanding and positivity. It should be about a couple working together to build a happy and fulfilling future in the relationship. So if there is manipulation present, one of the spouses is suffering, as the other spouse (the manipulator) is doing things that will be in his or her favour only.
One of the main problems with manipulation in marriage is that often the spouse that is being manipulated does not even realise it. First of all we all expect to be treated well by our spouse, and when this does not happen, we may fail to notice how bad it is becoming as we go along. Moreover, all manipulative people have the tendency of twisting your thoughts and sometimes even actions, and so you end up being moulded into somebody else, who, at the end of the day, serves the spouse’s purposes and preferences. The victim gets lost in the process, as he or she cannot be their authentic self.
A manipulative spouse could be forcing his or her insecurities on you or make you doubt yourself. Often, that person will make you feel responsible for whatever happens. If he or she feels down, they manages to make you feel responsible for it, even if you do not have anything to do with it. Manipulative spouses will manage to make you feel guilty easily. They will also make you want what they want, even if deep down it is not something you really like or look forward to.
If you think you are in a manipulative marriage, it is important that you try to do something about it. Such a relationship is not just unhealthy but toxic and it is a form of relationship abuse, no matter how subtle it show up.
For more information on Domestic Abuse and how you can safely leave purchase a copy of my book ‘Time To Go! Leaving Emotional Abuse and other forms of Abusive Relationships’, available on Amazon worldwide.