If you are looking in from the outside, you may find it is easy to put down women in abusive relationships. The question of “Why doesn’t she just stand up for herself and leave?” seems to be an obvious solution. The truth of the situation is usually, much more complicated than can be seen. There are many factors which play a part in the reasoning behind staying with an abuser. Here are some of the reasons why a victim may stay in an abusive relationship.
The Sequence Of Abuse
A woman may not suffer constant abuse from her partner. There may be a situation which involves, periods where the abuser is affectionate and generous. This may give the victim hope that this may always be the case and also, trains them to behave as the abuser wishes. It may also be that the victim looks forward to the making up sessions with the abuser. Whether it is an emotional, physical or financial reward, the abuse is justified and accepted in the victim’s mind. This may become a comfortable pattern and the victim may look forward to their rewards, without realizing that they can have a healthy relationship.
Underdeveloped Self Worth
The victim may have a history, of being treated poorly by her family and others around her. This may include witnessing domestic abuse while growing up and also being a social outcast. There are also groups that dictates, what a woman should do and what her role is. Due to these factors, a woman may believe that her partner is actually treating her normally or even kindly. This type of mindset can be very hard to overcome and you may get in trouble if you suggest that they leave. These women may tell their partners about your advice as a way to show their loyalty.
Pressured To Stay
A victim of abuse may believe that they are responsible for making their relationship work. This may be something they learned from their religious background, their parents or even their own standards. Some women may also be influenced by, the pressure to be loyal to their husband and to stay by his side through thick or thin. This pressure to make their marriage work means that leaving is a failure which will make them less than a woman in their eyes. Marriage is intended to be a lifelong commitment but it should also be a happy healthy life. Abuse is a violation of the marriage vows.
There are some women who believe that they can change their husband into a better person. They do not realize that change is something that comes from within. They may believe that their abusers need them and they, are the only ones who can help them. Some women may also stay with their abusers believing that their children should have a father present in their lives. They may not see that they are giving their children the wrong impression of what a relationship should be. Some women may feel ashamed to let anyone know that they are being abused.
Fear is a major cause of women staying in abusive relationships. There are many different fears which abused women experience. There can be the fear of physical violence, whether to themselves, their family or even of their abuser hurting himself. There can also be a fear of losing their home and their way of life. This may seem superficial but is there anyone who does not seek financial security for themselves and their family? There can also be a fear that the abuser will embarrass them in front of family, friends or even at work. It must be said that abusers can be very charismatic and may show a different personality in public than they do at home. As such, it may be difficult to speak to people who only think good things about them. Not sure if you are being abused? Join the over 15oo students on my course, it will give you clarity. Please also feel free to get in touch by emailing me.